In This Life
by Nutmeg596
Summary: Sequel to All Of Me. I strongly recommend reading that one first. It has been seven years since Loki lost Eyra, and he is starting to realize the full impact that event is going to have on him. But what if he still has a small chance at healing? And what secrets could Frigga be hiding? This installment will begin with events just prior to Thor and during Iron Man 2.
1. Chapter 1

Loki stared blankly up at the stars, the signs of his fatigue clearly visible in and underneath his eyes. He was laying stiffly on his bed with his hands clasped together in the middle of his stomach, trying and failing to numb the pain that had scarcely lessened at all since the time of Eyra's death. It had been seven years since her passing, and he was beginning to fear that he was slowly descending into complete and utter insanity.

 _"Well, I could have told you that. After all, it was I, or, at least, the thought of me, that kept you sane for so many years."_

Loki squeezed his eyes tightly shut at the teasing sound of Eyra's voice. Sure, he heard her sort of running commentary in his head nearly every day, but it wasn't very often that it seemed to come from outside. When he opened his eyes, there she sat, propped up against the wall in the same position she had used to sit so often and staring at him with a wide smirk and dancing blue eyes. When he met her gaze, her face fell, and she sighed, a woeful expression taking over her pretty features.

 _"You really have got to stop doing this, you know."_

"You say that as though I'm doing it intentionally!" Loki rolled his eyes at her. He then immediately berated himself for arguing with his own subconsciously-conjured projection. She wasn't real, and he knew it. Just a side effect of his grief mingling with the magical abilities he possessed.

Eyra gave him a sad smile. _"I know. But I did ask you to find someone else. It would honestly help. You have got to move on. I'm gone, and there is nothing either of us can do about it."_ Loki gritted his teeth. Imaginary she may be, but it was an incredibly accurate representation. _"Well, I should hope so!"_ Fake Eyra responded to his thoughts with a giggle. _"I mean, you did know me better than anyone!"_

"Why, Eyra?" Loki's resolve broke, and he stared straight ahead, fighting the lump that had risen in his throat. "Why did you have to leave me? How am I supposed to go on now?"

The apparition moved closer to him with tears filling her eyes. _"You know that, were there anything to be done, I would change this in a heartbeat. If only to spare you further grief. But the only thing there is to be done now is for you to forget me and find something or someone else to bring you joy and heal you of this heartache."_

Loki shook his head vehemently. "No, my Darling, I cannot forget you, and, even if I could, I wouldn't."

 _"Loki..."_ she pleaded softly, and, for just a moment, Loki forgot that she was only an illusion. Unable to bear seeing the tears he had brought to her eyes, he reached out to run his fingers through her scarlet, tantalizingly soft tresses, only to be jolted back to reality as the image faded away at his attempt at contact.

 _'You know, she would still be alive, if it weren't for Thor,'_ a sly voice entered his thoughts. Loki scowled deeply. This was one voice he could not quite place, but it had been plaguing his mind for the past several months. It constantly planted in his head such thoughts as that it was Thor's fault that Eyra was dead. That she had been killed because of something to do with their relationship and how Loki himself had tied into it all. That Thor was always the favorite son, and that Loki needed to show that he was truly the better of the two brothers.

It was this that had brought on the realization that he truly was going mad.

* * *

"Tony!" Alicia greeted enthusiastically over the phone.

"Hey, Leesh! How's...uh...where is it that you are now?"

Alicia rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Kenya. And it's absolutely amazing. It might be my favorite place I've ever been. I almost don't want to leave."

"Hey, that's great!" There was a slight pause before Tony continued speaking. "But you are still coming home for my birthday, right?"

"Of course!" Alicia reassured him, grinning fondly. "How could I miss it?"

Tony sounded genuinely relieved. "Good. After all, it is going to be quite the party."

"Oh, please, you know I don't care one whit about a party," she chided him, laughing. "The only reason I have any desire at all to be there is for you."

She could hear the cocky smirk in his voice as he responded. "Wow, Leesh. You know, I must say, I'm flattered by your feelings for me, but..."

"Oh, shut up!" Alicia erupted in laughter. "That's not like it at all, as you are well aware!"

Tony chuckled. "Yeah, I know. But you do love me."

"Only because I have to," she teased. "After all, you and Pepper are kind of all I've got."

"Yeah, right back atcha, Al," Tony sighed. "Although you should meet my new personal assistant. Natalie Rushman."

Alicia shook her head with an exasperated smile. "Can't wait." Then she grew serious. "How are you? And don't even try to lie to me. You know I see right through you."

Tony was silent for several moments before he let out a sigh. "I'll be fine. Things aren't looking so hot right now, but I'll figure it out. I always do."

"Tony," Alicia frowned worriedly. "What's wrong? Is it the arc reactor still?"

"Yeah." Her best friend sounded more discouraged than she could ever remember him being. "But, like I said, I'll figure it out. I just need a little time and the right...inspiration. I'm leaving for Monaco in the morning. For the Historic Grand Prix. It'll be good to take a break."

"Do you need me to come home early?" Alicia offered, Tony's wellbeing coming before almost anything else in her world. "I could meet you in Monaco...try to help you figure this thing out..."

The affectionate smile was evident in Stark's voice as he replied. "No, Leesh. I know how much the work you are doing means to you. And I've got Pepper to take care of me. Besides, I told you I'll be fine. It's just a minor glitch, that's all."

"If you're sure..." Alicia relented uncertainly.

"I am," Tony confirmed confidently. "So, I'll send one of the jets to pick you up a couple of days before the party. If you're lucky, I might even come with it!"

Alicia laughed quietly. "Sounds great. I've got to get off the phone anyway. I've got children hanging off of each arm and leg, begging me to come play."

"Sounds like your wildest dreams come true!" Tony grinned. "Alright, Al. It was good to talk to you. Thanks for everything. You're the best!"

"Aw, shucks, Tony, you're making me blush!" Alicia chortled. "I'll see you in a few days. Can hardly wait!"

She hung up and turned to the five or six Kenyan children tugging on her limbs and staring at her with pleading eyes. "Alright, you crazy heads!" She laughed. "You've got five seconds! Better run, or I'm gonna get you! Jamal, are you on my team again?"

The smallest of the kids nodded enthusiastically, eyes wide and bright with excitement. The other children screamed with laughter and dispersed as Alicia began counting slowly.

"1...2...3..."

* * *

 **A/N: It's finally out! I'm so sorry that it's taken so long, but our internet has been out for days! We finally got it fixed today, so woohoo! Anyway, I'll leave you to your deductions regarding this chapter. Review and let me know what you think and if you have any ideas of what you would like to see in this story!**

 **LilweenGalatrass: Fear not, for all shall be revealed in due time! :) And you are definitely right. Loki just doesn't have the ability to be happy without Eyra in his life. Thank you for all of your support! Your reviews make me so happy!**

 **Okumura Ichigo: Yes, she is alive! Sorry, this update forever, but here is a chapter finally!**

 **Deductions-of-Sherlolly: Haha thank Loki? I love it! I'll have to use that from now on. Anyway, thank you for your reviews! Hopefully Part 2 will live up to your expectations!**

 **chyanne200: Celebration brownies! Share? ;) Haha thank you so much! I am excited to keep writing this, and your support is so motivating! You are fabulous!**

 **MissyMaestro: Oh my gosh, this was so fun! I seriously just smiled all night as I read all of your reviews! It makes me beyond happy that you enjoyed All Of Me so much! Thank you for showing so much support, and I hope Part 2 will continue to enthrall you!**

 **TigerInTheMoonlight: Here it is! Sorry it took so long...thanks a million for all of your reviews!**

 **SarahELupin: Muahaha! I probably took that as much more of a compliment than I should have. Haha thank you so much! You are wonderful!**

 **Ani the Fangirl: Worry not! He that waiteth shall know the truth of all things! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

_Alicia stared in horror at the small television screen in front of her. The Monaco Grand Prix had taken a turn for the worse when a man had shown up with what seemed to be some sort of variation of the Iron Man suit. Tony had been trying to fight him off on his own, but hadn't been able to do a whole lot until Pepper had shown up with his suit. He had quickly activated it and was fighting the man with everything he had. Alicia thought she would be sick as she watched her best friend being tossed around and smashed against the ground._

 _"Miss Wrubell?" One of the workers at the orphanage entered the room, but Alicia held up a hand to silence her, eyes fixed on the TV. She finally breathed a sigh of relief as Tony ripped off the source of power of the other man's suit and the CRS came and dragged him away._

 _Alicia stood up and looked at the other woman. "Nyakio," she addressed her quickly. "I'm going to have to leave a few days earlier than expected. Do you think you can handle things here?" The Kenyan woman nodded. "Wonderful. Thank you. Something has come up, and I have to get packed and leave as soon as possible." She gave Nyakio a kind smile and a kiss on the cheek before walking briskly out of the room and dialing Tony's number._

 _"Tony! Oh my goodness, are you okay?!"_

* * *

Several days later, Alicia sat next to Tony in his Malibu home, helping him to make last minute plans for his birthday the next day. It had been an eventful week or so, and she could see that things were taking a toll on him. Since the incident at the Grand Prix, a considerable amount of speculation had arisen surrounding whether or not Tony was fit to stay in possession of the Iron Man suit. One Senator Stern (who Alicia liked to refer to as, 'that sick, puffy cow'), had already been pushing to have the suits seized by the government and was now using the attack at Monaco as a means of rallying more support for that idea. Even Rhodes, Tony's best friend, had been trying to convince him to just hand the suits over. A few days ago, the man behind the attack, Vanko, had been broken out of prison by some unknown party and was nowhere to be found, and, to top it all off, Tony was dying. Alicia didn't fully understand how or why, but she knew it had something to do with the arc reactor that was keeping him alive. She shook her head at the cruel irony.

"I think," Tony interrupted her train of thought. "Tomorrow morning you should take me out to breakfast."

Alicia laughed. "With your money, you mean? I think that sounds fabulous. We have a lot of catching up to do anyway." She smiled at him but then sobered. He had been looking sicker and sicker every day since she had been back. "How are things with the arc reactor?"

Tony sighed. "I hate that you even know about that." Alicia waited for him to continue, but he only sat there sulkily. She rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"I can't control the things I dream about. You know that. And anyway, is it so bad to have someone to help you through this? Besides Jarvis, I mean."

Tony couldn't help the fond smile that forced its way onto his face. "No, it's not so bad. Even though there's not a whole lot you can do."

Alicia pulled her legs up and tucked them underneath her at the knees. "Explain to me what the problem is again?"

Tony hesitated before responding. "The arc reactor requires a chip of palladium to keep it running. As it turns out, it seems that the palladium is also releasing poisons into my blood stream. That's what...you know."

Alicia swallowed hard. "Isn't there some other element that could take the place of the palladium?"

"Not that I've been able to find," Tony shook his head with a sigh. "Listen, Leesh, I'm leaving a lot of my things to you. I figure you can use it to-"

"No," Alicia cut him off, shaking her head vehemently. "Tony Stark, don't you dare even talk like that. There is still time, granted not a ton, but some. We are going to figure this out, you hear me?" She forced him to look her in the eyes. "Tony. You are not going to die. At least not any time soon. I am not going to allow that to happen." He continued to gaze at her with no response, and it broke her heart to see the lack of hope in his eyes. "I was thinking...maybe I could try something..."

Tony knew instantly what she was talking about and gave her a look. "No," he refused. "You could kill yourself."

"Tony, I've been practicing!" She argued. "It comes a lot more naturally than I thought it would, and I've learned to know when I'm reaching my limits! I wouldn't go beyond that, I promise!"

"Alicia, we don't even understand what this weird thing you've got going on is! We have no idea if it even applies to something like this! Who knows what could happen?!"

"So, I'll take it slow! Test the waters a little bit! And anyway, what choice do we have at this point?" Alicia looked at him with pleading eyes as his jaw clenched, the wheels in his head obviously turning. A lump rose in her throat, and her voice quivered slightly as she spoke her next words. "You're my best friend, Tony. My only friend. And I could not live with myself if you died when I knew there was even the smallest chance I could save you. I have to at least try."

Tony was silent for a few moments more before he sighed reluctantly. "Alright. But at the slightest sign that something is going wrong, we stop, and we completely forget about it." Alicia beamed at him.

"Fantastic! Let's...maybe go somewhere that Pepper won't walk in on anything strange..."

Tony agreed, and the two of them headed downstairs where he sat in his chair and laid back. "Alright..." he hesitated slightly. "What do I do?"

"Take off your shirt," Alicia instructed. He smirked at her.

"Wow, Leesh, you know I do love a woman who takes control like that!" She gave him a look, and he cleared his throat meekly, removing his shirt. Alicia took a deep breath and cautiously laid a hand across the light on his chest. Closing her eyes, she could feel the power of the arc reactor, and, as she ran her other hand along his chest, she could also sense the poison running through his blood stream. She frowned. It was worse than she thought. Swallowing hard, she focused her energy on slowly gathering the impurities back toward the arc reactor. Tony let out a small gasp of pain, but she ignored him, knowing that if she could get the toxins to a central location then she would be able to at least purify them slightly, if not pull them out of his system altogether. Her hands continued to roam across his legs and upper body, dragging the contamination with them. Finally, the came to rest right above the arc reactor. Alicia bit her lip bracing herself as she focused on dissolving the toxins before lifting her hands to draw them out of his system. A sudden burst of pain began at her finger tips and shot through her body, causing her to let out a yelp and drop to her knees. But she almost had it, and if she could just push through for a few seconds longer...

"Alicia, stop it!" She felt Tony knock her hands away from him, and she looked up, breathing hard, to see him staring at her in concern. "You said you were just going to test the waters. Well, we've tested them, and it seems like they're a little too cold for my taste. So we won't be going in any further."

Alicia took a second to catch her breath. "I almost had it, Tony. I was so close. I could feel it."

Jarvis moved over and did some tests. "Mr. Stark, the palladium poisoning is still present, though it does seem to be significantly lessened from the last time we checked." Tony looked at Alicia with wide eyes. She felt a broad grin spread across her face.

"Well, it's not a permanent fix, but it at least buys you some more time to figure out a real solution, right?"

Tony was still staring at her in amazement. Then he suddenly leapt to his feet with a ' _Whoop'_ of joy and lifted Alicia up, spinning her around as they both laughed delightedly. He set her down and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. "You're amazing," he told her sincerely. "Come on. I think we need to go celebrate."

Alicia quickly agreed, and the two of them left merrily, each feeling in better spirits than they had in months.

* * *

Worlds away from them, another someone was having his own celebrations, though they were for much different reasons than those of Tony and Alicia. The youngest prince of Asgard stepped back into his home realm, a triumphant smirk on his face. His negotiations with Jotunheim could not have panned out more perfectly. Thor's coronation was in only a few days time, and then Eyra would be avenged, Thor would no longer be a threat to Asgard, and his father would finally see that he was a worthy son.

Deep in the back of his mind, the real Loki was still present, trying to remind him who he was and of the folly of what he was becoming. However, the madness had almost completely taken over, and any sense that he still possessed was quickly squashed with thoughts of hatred, bitterness, and regret. Loki of Asgard was quickly disappearing. But he didn't care. He would do whatever it took to exact vengeance for the wrongs committed against him. That was all that mattered now.

* * *

 _Alicia tossed and turned in her sleep as images of a handsome, broken man with jet black hair and green eyes flashed through her mind. Something terrible was happening to him. She didn't know what, but she did know that she cared deeply about this man. More deeply than she had ever cared about anyone, even Tony. He was hurting, and she had to stop it. In her dream, she ran toward him frantically, but when he turned to look at her, his face had changed. He was an older man with light hair and dark, hateful eyes. Alicia froze as their eyes met, breath catching in her throat._

 _"He's gone," the man sneered at her. "Or very nearly, at least. There's nothing you can do to save him." He turned and gestured toward a weak figure on the floor. Alicia gasped as she saw the man she had been running toward initially. His eyes were closed, his breathing labored, and she knew he was almost dead. Her heart clenched painfully and she ran toward him, only to stumble back as she hit some kind of invisible force field._

 _"Ah, ah, ah!" The evil man snickered. "As I said, there's nothing you can do. It's over."_

 _Alicia felt her breath leave her lungs with a 'whoosh,' and she rammed her body against the force field again, desperate to break through._

 _"LOKI!"_

Alicia sat bolt upright in bed, clutching her chest and gasping for air. Shaken, she held her head in her hands and took several deep breaths before slowly laying back down, though she knew she wouldn't sleep another wink tonight. Both of those men had looked so familiar, but she couldn't, for the life of her, remember who they were. Swallowing hard, Alicia curled up on her side and wracked her brains desperately, trying to figure out who they were and what this latest vision could possibly mean.

* * *

 **A/N: Heyyyyyyy guys! Heh. Hehe. Sooooo...it's obviously been a while...I'm soooo sorry, and I hope I haven't lost all of you! These past few months have honestly just been the hardest time of my life, and I just didn't have the time or the energy for writing much. But! Things are looking up, and I think I should be able to get back to a fairly consistent updating schedule. Anyway, I love you all and appreciate all of your support! You are amazing, and I hope you enjoyed this latest update!**

 **LokisTrueLove2: I am so glad that you are enjoying it! It gives me great joy to cause my readers such emotional conflict! Ha! And I'm glad to have been somewhat of an inspiration to you! And yes, how can one not love Loki? I mean, come on! :) Thank you for reviewing!**

 **Lilith Daeriel: Thank you so much! It makes me very happy that you are enjoying it! And yes, it breaks my heart to see Loki hurt as well. But never fear! This story is not meant to end in tragedy! :) Hey, I'm not handing out any spoilers! You will just have to be patient! ;)**

 **sidbeak7: Did you just compare me to Moffat? Oh my word, I don't think I have ever been quite so flattered in my life! I am so sorry to have put you through emotional hell (wait. not really. ha. sorry.), but I hope you continue to enjoy the sequel! Thank you so much for your support!**

 **Okumura Ichigo: Don't worry, things will turn out just splendid! Maybe not for a while, but eventually! As for Tony, he has a pretty big role in the story! You will understand soon enough! Plus, don't you think that Loki and Stark could seriously just be the best of friends? I think so. :)**

 **LilweenGalatrass: IT'S OKAY DON'T FREAK OUT! Not yet at least. :) Haha I absolutely adore Tony, even if he is a little turd. I'm hoping to show another side to him through his relationship with Alicia that we don't get to see very often. Ha so many great questions that I am just not at liberty to answer at this time. :) But don't worry! I love Loki too! He must be happy in the end! I insist on it!**

 **snowflake2410: You are a smart one, aren't you? ;) And sheesh, I think you've been shaking me with that bandaged palm for a long time now! Isn't your arm a little sore?**

 **TigerInTheMoonlight: I think Loki will always break our hearts at least a little bit. I'm glad that you liked it! Hope you continue to enjoy, and thank you for reviewing!**

 **chyanne200: Ahem. I am neither confirming nor denying anything at this time. ;)**

 **MissyMaestro: And now you have been waiting even longer! Sorry about that! And yes, the Avengers will be quite involved throughout the rest of this tale. :) Tissue?**

 **HarukaJKGG: I'm glad you like the name Alicia! And don't worry, Loki will have happiness eventually! Ha thanks for reviewing!**

 **Suni-Dlight: Hey, I'm so glad you enjoyed part 1! Now...more than six months later...here ya go! :)**

 **Maros-song: I'm so glad that you caught that! She's fulfilling her dream, alright! And it will be a glorious reunion indeed! Thank you for your support! You are awesome!**

 **mussymay14: I just found my new favorite expletive, so thank you for that! ;) I would say I'm sorry for making you cry, but...then I would be lying! :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for your support!**

 **Bori: Thank you so much! And don't worry, all will be revealed in due time!**

 **sagge: I'm so glad that you love it! That is what makes this worth it! And yes, I am quite excited for them to be reunited as well. Thank you sooo much for your kind words and support! They mean a lot to me! You're awesome!**

 **LotrAvengerJedi: Thank you! That is so kind of you to say! Believe me, if I could take on Loki's pain, I would too. In a heartbeat. But alas! We must simply wait a little longer for a happily ever after! Thank you again, and I hope you continue to enjoy In This Life!**

 **Lady Atarah: Thanks so much for reviewing and for your kind words! Not abandoned! Promise! Hiatus is over! :) I hope you continue to enjoy!**


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